Let us agree that internet has changed our life in every way, shape and form, even the way many of us get married. Not long ago, there was a time when almost everyone use to find their bride or bride grooms only by referrals from friends and family and most marriages were arranged marriages only. Marriages done from other sources (including love marriages) were often not very well accepted in our society. Online marriages or finding the matrimonial online is the latest trend and in this article we have tried to list the advantages, disadvantages and benefits of finding the right match online.
HOW TO CREATE A GOOD MATRIMONIAL BIODATA OR PROFILE:
1. Nice Picture:
A good profile should be always accompanied by a recent picture. It is useful because for most people looks matter significantly and you do not want to waste time with people where the proposal gets declined because they did not like the photo. It is usually better to go to a nearby photo studio and get a good picture clicked professionally.
2. What should I write in my profile:
The best way to do is to spend atleast 2 days looking at online profiles of other people and figure out which presentation and format is most appealing to you. It is always recommended to be truthful but do not over-tell about your personal details. For example it may be a good idea not to give your exact home address, not to mention the exact salary and company you are working (use a salary range instead). Most matrimonial profiles tend to overstate the skin colour by at-least one shade, it is up to you how to present that.
1. Nice Picture:
A good profile should be always accompanied by a recent picture. It is useful because for most people looks matter significantly and you do not want to waste time with people where the proposal gets declined because they did not like the photo. It is usually better to go to a nearby photo studio and get a good picture clicked professionally.
2. What should I write in my profile:
The best way to do is to spend atleast 2 days looking at online profiles of other people and figure out which presentation and format is most appealing to you. It is always recommended to be truthful but do not over-tell about your personal details. For example it may be a good idea not to give your exact home address, not to mention the exact salary and company you are working (use a salary range instead). Most matrimonial profiles tend to overstate the skin colour by at-least one shade, it is up to you how to present that.
Things that may include are:
- Short paragraph about you 4-5 lines (too long can be boring).
- Your education, plus academic grades if you are a good student.
- Extra curricular activities.
- Cooking (even guys .. girls like guys who can do light casual cooking even if it's once a month).
- A short description of your job.
- Your parents, siblings and what they do.
- Your likes and dislikes.
- Very clearly describe what kind of a partner you are looking.
- References: Available on request.
3. Start with paid service itself: A good profile will usually start to get replies for possible matches. Therefore to continue with the conversation instead of wasting days to upgrade your profile later. Do not get over excited if you receive too many replies, always use your common sense while replying (or to simply ignore).
- Short paragraph about you 4-5 lines (too long can be boring).
- Your education, plus academic grades if you are a good student.
- Extra curricular activities.
- Cooking (even guys .. girls like guys who can do light casual cooking even if it's once a month).
- A short description of your job.
- Your parents, siblings and what they do.
- Your likes and dislikes.
- Very clearly describe what kind of a partner you are looking.
- References: Available on request.
3. Start with paid service itself: A good profile will usually start to get replies for possible matches. Therefore to continue with the conversation instead of wasting days to upgrade your profile later. Do not get over excited if you receive too many replies, always use your common sense while replying (or to simply ignore).
Top Indian websites and cost of premium membership:
Three month membership is about 1500 rupees. Longer the membership, lesser you pay per month. Most websites offer upto a 12 month membership for around 4000 to 5000 rupees.
1. BharatMatrimony.com
2. Shaadi.com
3. JeevanSathi
4. SimplyMarry.com
Three month membership is about 1500 rupees. Longer the membership, lesser you pay per month. Most websites offer upto a 12 month membership for around 4000 to 5000 rupees.
1. BharatMatrimony.com
2. Shaadi.com
3. JeevanSathi
4. SimplyMarry.com
ADVANTAGES OF ONLINE MATRIMONIAL/MARRIAGES:
1. Huge Choice:
You can select from the wide variety of matrimonial profiles and not just the people you know. You can literally shortlist the suitable matches based on education, religion, caste, salary, location, hobbies, personality and even looks. Similarly you can post your profile and let others contact you in the same way. You can even include or exclude people with special circumstances like people with disabilities, divorce or widow. Because there are millions of profiles online the biggest advantage of finding a match online is undoughtedly "The Choice". Even if you were taking out your matrimonial advertisement in the newspaper, your voice is still restricted to the territory where that newspaper is circulated. Although it is a good idea to place your advertisement on internet and newspapers for maximum exposure.
2. Cheap Services:
Although in most of the online matrimonial / matchmaker sites the basic listing can be free but in order to start a real conversation between both the interested parties, you have to upgrade to a paid membership which is also quite cheap and is within a few hundred rupees. therefore it is best to have a paid membership from the starting itself rather than having to upgrade it later on..
3. See picture / video:
In most arranged marriage proposals, people use to hesitate sending photos, even when they did attach a photo there was always a problem of getting back the photo if the proposal did not work out. Here you can just shortlist the profiles with pictures only.
DISADVANTAGES OF ONLINE MATRIMONIAL / MARRIAGES:
1. Genuinety is questionable:
This is the biggest drawback when trying to find a life partner online. You have no idea how much truth a person has written. Everyone tries to polish their matrimonial biodata with lies and deception and many cases go too far in order to get the conversation started. On the other hand there is more truthful knowledge about the background of your possible bride/groom if you have met the person or if your friends or relatives know the person. False photographs, lies about salary and family background are not uncommon in online marriages.
2. Privacy:
Once something goes on internet, there is no gurantee how far all of it will go. In most cases it is not an issue, therefore refrain from providing any information which may be sensitive to you. Provide those details only which are sufficient to establish a contact with the other party.
3. High divorce rates: ( Reference: in.news.yahoo.com/32/20080715/1072/ten-virtual-reality.html)
If your marriage was made online, there's a one in three chance that you will be sitting in front of a marriage counsellor, say experts. Psychiatrists in the capital have recorded an increase in the number of married couples, who met in cyber space, seeking counselling. In Arranged marriages, the man and woman come from a similar background and therefore share the same views of marriage and family, the chance of divorcing due to irreconcilable differences is not as strong as in western cultures or online marriages.
4. Past history of a person:
There is no way to tell if the other guy (or girl) is really nice or not. Did he have too many affairs or for that matter even having one or not, whether the person is a heavy drinker or smoker etc. There rare cases where people have even tried to re-marry using these online websites. Making an opinion about a person and his family background within a few meetings or phonecalls can be quite risky.
A BETTER APPROACH FOR CREATING YOUR ONLINE BIODATA:
1. Be truthful, even if there are any negative points in your matrimonial bio-data, it is still better to clarify upfront. If you are really hesitant to mention those online, disclose those to the interested parties within the first or second conversation before the talks go too far.
2. Whenever you receive a response or get contacted, always go slow and never show too much excitement. Always ask for references and try to seek if you have any friends or relatives where that person lives and if you can get any information about the true background of that person. In rare cases people even make use of expensive background and detective services.
2. Cheap Services:
Although in most of the online matrimonial / matchmaker sites the basic listing can be free but in order to start a real conversation between both the interested parties, you have to upgrade to a paid membership which is also quite cheap and is within a few hundred rupees. therefore it is best to have a paid membership from the starting itself rather than having to upgrade it later on..
3. See picture / video:
In most arranged marriage proposals, people use to hesitate sending photos, even when they did attach a photo there was always a problem of getting back the photo if the proposal did not work out. Here you can just shortlist the profiles with pictures only.
DISADVANTAGES OF ONLINE MATRIMONIAL / MARRIAGES:
1. Genuinety is questionable:
This is the biggest drawback when trying to find a life partner online. You have no idea how much truth a person has written. Everyone tries to polish their matrimonial biodata with lies and deception and many cases go too far in order to get the conversation started. On the other hand there is more truthful knowledge about the background of your possible bride/groom if you have met the person or if your friends or relatives know the person. False photographs, lies about salary and family background are not uncommon in online marriages.
2. Privacy:
Once something goes on internet, there is no gurantee how far all of it will go. In most cases it is not an issue, therefore refrain from providing any information which may be sensitive to you. Provide those details only which are sufficient to establish a contact with the other party.
3. High divorce rates: ( Reference: in.news.yahoo.com/32/20080715/1072/ten-virtual-reality.html)
If your marriage was made online, there's a one in three chance that you will be sitting in front of a marriage counsellor, say experts. Psychiatrists in the capital have recorded an increase in the number of married couples, who met in cyber space, seeking counselling. In Arranged marriages, the man and woman come from a similar background and therefore share the same views of marriage and family, the chance of divorcing due to irreconcilable differences is not as strong as in western cultures or online marriages.
4. Past history of a person:
There is no way to tell if the other guy (or girl) is really nice or not. Did he have too many affairs or for that matter even having one or not, whether the person is a heavy drinker or smoker etc. There rare cases where people have even tried to re-marry using these online websites. Making an opinion about a person and his family background within a few meetings or phonecalls can be quite risky.
A BETTER APPROACH FOR CREATING YOUR ONLINE BIODATA:
1. Be truthful, even if there are any negative points in your matrimonial bio-data, it is still better to clarify upfront. If you are really hesitant to mention those online, disclose those to the interested parties within the first or second conversation before the talks go too far.
2. Whenever you receive a response or get contacted, always go slow and never show too much excitement. Always ask for references and try to seek if you have any friends or relatives where that person lives and if you can get any information about the true background of that person. In rare cases people even make use of expensive background and detective services.
3. Others: Let the girl and guy talk to each other a few times before they really meet in person. Two good natured people will like each other is not a guarantee. Talk to each other not just about hobbies but also about their future plans, if they had any serious love affair and if a person smokes or drinks. Try to judge if the person is marrying for money and hopefully not for the dowry. Although in times of difficulty, the couple can count on the help of their parents and in-laws for physical, emotional and financial support. Does the balance of practicality and emotion matches yours. Do your religious thoughts meet, are you both vegetarian or non-vegetarian. How much influence does the guy have of his family (too much parental influence can be bad).
4. Listen to your parents: In most cases your parents will have a more matured advice than yours, although it may not be always true. You should also check for the compatibility of the two families along with your own.
5.Each person is different: Good qualities in one person may not always be found in the other one. It is not a bad idea to seek premarital counseling rather than doing it later. Over time the couple may realise that they made a hasty decision and are incompatible.
CONCLUSION:
Using internet as a medium to find your life partner is a good choice, but be careful of people who put false and overly exaggerated statements in their biodata.
5.Each person is different: Good qualities in one person may not always be found in the other one. It is not a bad idea to seek premarital counseling rather than doing it later. Over time the couple may realise that they made a hasty decision and are incompatible.
CONCLUSION:
Using internet as a medium to find your life partner is a good choice, but be careful of people who put false and overly exaggerated statements in their biodata.
1 comments:
Informative post which is describing the advantages and disadvantages of online matrimonial services. According to me these days there are a lots of free online matrimonial services are being used by a larger section of the population in order to find their dream partner. Thanks for sharing such useful information with us.
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